Creative Sustenance

Sustenance
sus·te·nance
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from sustenir
1 a : means of support, maintenance, or subsistence : living : food, provisions; also : nourishment;
2 a : the act of sustaining : the state of being sustained b : a supplying or being supplied with the necessaries of life;
3 : something that gives support, endurance, or strength

(Source: Merriam-Webster's Dictionary)

My appetite goes down in summer. Not just my appetite for food, diminshed because of the heat. Heck, I could lose a few pounds anyway. No, I mean my appetite for creating. Frankly, summer is a struggle. Not just against the oppressive heat or the news of the world which is getting more and more depressing. Nope, the struggle here is against myself. This is the time of year when I always think I should have more time and energy for creating and moving forward with my work. And yet there is a reason they must call these the "lazy days of summer." I struggle to move forward, to keep myself motivated, to believe that I actually can complete my current project.

I have been working on this documentary, Avenue of Aspirations, for quite some time now. The idea for this film came to me in 1998, just a few months after I completed my masters degree in film and video. I put it on the back burner for a few years while I got involved with helping another documentary filmmaker, Leon Gerskovic, with his documentary Crucible of War. I helped Leon produce his film in exchange for him helping me shoot mine. We began production on my film in 2000, even while I continued to work on the other film through 2004. Since then, my film has progressed in stops and starts. While weekend shoots and late evening edits come with the territory for someone who works fulltime, the biggest obstacle has not been time or even the modest budget of the film. It certainly isn't access; I live within 30 minutes of the subject of my film -- a street in Washington DC. Nope, the biggest obstacle has been me.

Yup, I admit it. For every time I can get myself energized to pull a long-nighter or spend most of a weekend working, I have had as many times when I just stand still -- thinking, thinking, thinking when I really should be doing, doing, doing. Or finding new and improved ways to distract myself from the goal. During the rest of the year, I can usually justify these distractions -- work is busy, my work with various film organizations is busy, one or another holiday commitment keeps me busy, I'm traveling/spring cleaning/seeing family/organizing a birthday party for a friend, winter is slump season, etc. etc. But now I have very little in the way of excuses. My film organization work is on a temporary break. Many of my friends are out of town. Stuff at the office is under control. Even my dog is happy to make do with short walks these days since he's not a big fan of the heat. So what's stopping me? Just good ole me, that's all.

Well, to be fair to myself, I am actually working on my film. Just very slowly. Not making as much progress as I would like. I have a lot of balls up in the air right now -- people I've contacted as potential interviews, things to film, but summer has also made it difficult to coordinate everyone's schedules -- between subjects and crew. I have made some progress, logging some past footage and finding some archival materials. But it's not the sexy stuff -- the actual getting out there and getting deeper into the story to make what I have even richer and more intricate and to keep myself energized that this has all been worth it. I know every artist goes through these ups and downs. On the logical level, I know that the best art comes out of taking the tedium and routine as part of the process rather than presuming that art can only come from those moments of great inspiration. That is part of the discipline of an artist. But I sure could use a jolt of inspiration before summer is out.

Maybe this would be a good time to ask: What provides you with creative sustenance?

Welcome to the World of CineCitizen

Greetings to all. I am Erica Ginsberg, an independent documentary filmmaker and founder of CineCitizen Media. Technology has advanced since I blogged on a film I previously produced called Crucible of War about life after war in the Balkans. I am currently at work on a new documentary, Avenue of Aspirations about the history, development, and social significance of a major street in Washington DC. I am also the co-founder of an organization called Docs in Progress which helps empower documentary filmmakers in the creative process by offering them public workshops where they can share their works in progress and get feedback from an audience.

One of the biggest challenges facing many documentary filmmakers (myself included) is that, by circumstance and choice, we often work independently -- without fanfare, feedback, or a feeling that anyone out there understands the process we go through to create. Film -- and, when I say "film," I am including video, the form of choice and economic necessity for most indies in the non-fiction world -- is an art form which is meant to communicate to an audience. But it is easy to forget there is an audience when we are slaving away at a script or an edit in the privacy of our basements and home offices in between paying gigs, family commitments, and the other aspects of life. As I and my colleague, Adele Schmidt, often tell filmmakers at our Docs in Progress workshops, it is scary but tremendously important to put yourself out there -- to gain feedback, confidence, knowledge, and power from the interaction with an audience. So perhaps it is time to heed my own advice and share with those who might find it of interest my experiences working in the world of documentary.

So welcome to the world of CineCitizen. Look forward to sharing more with you and hearing what you have to say.